Learning how to be more confident is a valuable life skill that will impact your personal and professional lives, as well as all your relationships!
I was a shy as a little girl, dorky as a preteen, and very insecure as a teenager. Now I’m fairly quiet and quite introverted as an adult.
From friends ditching me, to struggles with body image, to a nagging belief that I was one of those people no one wanted to be friends with, confidence didn’t come naturally for me. It is something I’ve worked hard for.
Thankfully, I have experienced a ton of breakthrough in becoming comfortable in my own skin, getting free from my past, believing in myself, and ultimately, learning how to be more confident.
A lot of what I’ve learned about confidence has come from amazing mentors and teachers I’ve sat under, books I’ve read, life experiences, and prayer.
I wrote this post on how to be more confident with 15 powerful tips, because they have truly impacted my own life!
1. Be choosy with your friends.
Only surround yourself with people who love you for who you are and encourage you to be the best version of you. Be free to let go of relationships which discourage or tear you down.
2. Say no to anxiety.
For every fear you have there is a lie you are believing. For example, if you’re afraid other people won’t like you the hidden lie you’re believing is that you’re unlikable.
Once you recognize the lie, write down or declare out loud the truth every time you feel that fear come up, “People like me. I am interesting, smart, and have so much to offer in friendship.”
3. Stop apologizing for things that aren’t your fault.
Continual apologies get tiring for the people around you and reveal insecurity. Instead, focus on saying “thank you” more when people compliment you or do things you appreciate.
4. Don’t be afraid to say no.
Respect yourself by having healthy boundaries, and knowing when you need time to rest.
5. Take time for self-care.
You have to take care of yourself before you can care for anyone else well. You also have to have a full cup to be able to pour any out for others. Self-care helps you be your most focused, peaceful, energized self.
I’ve written a list of 35 simple ways to practice self care that might help you get ideas.
6. Journal more.
Getting your thoughts and feelings out on paper will help you understand yourself better, which will make you more confident in who you are. The more you understand yourself, the better you’ll be able to communicate about yourself to others as well.
7. Learn to be comfortable with silence, without technology, and even with boredom.
Practice focusing on one task at a time, for example, driving without music or talking. It can be uncomfortable at first, but you will find yourself more clear-minded and confident when you don’t need distractions to be comfortable.
8. Take more risks.
Insecure people won’t risk missing out, looking silly, or failing. Confident people risk all of those things, and grow a lot because of it. Challenge yourself!
This could look like reaching out to someone you want to be friends with even if you don’t know if they want to be friends with you. Or it could look like trying a new activity when you don’t know if you’ll be good at it.
Whenever you find yourself telling yourself you can’t do something, that’s the very thing you should be going after.
9. Give yourself more credit.
It’s not arrogant to be aware of your own strengths, or to accept compliments. Actually, that’s confidence.
Arrogance is putting others down in your belief that you’re better than them. If you need to, when you’re feeling insecure take some time to write down 10 things you’re good at, or that you love about yourself.
10. Ask for help when you need it.
Being willing to ask for help means you believe you’re valuable enough for someone else to invest in – which is confidence! This could be as simple as asking someone to help you process as you make a decision, or as significant as seeking out therapy.
You are worth investing in!
11. Compliment other people more (in a genuine way).
When you do, it shows you are comfortable with yourself enough to recognize the strengths of others.
12. Stop the comparison game.
You’re created to be you, not anyone else. No one else has the same personality, genetics, experiences, or past as you do, so it’s not fair to yourself to put yourself down when you’re not achieving as much as someone else, not as skinny as someone else, or not as talented as someone else. Give yourself grace, and then be ok with your process!
13. Learn something new about yourself.
This is one of the best things you can do when learning how to be more confident. Take some personality tests to better understand why you are the way you are. Try some new activities, foods, music, or movies, because there’s value in learning what you like and don’t like.
14. Forgive yourself.
If you continually beat yourself up over a mistake you made in the past, then you’re hindering yourself from being able to grow past it and become who you want to be. It’s important to process pain and not just throw it under the rug.
But, once you’ve processed it, learned from it, and sought forgiveness if you hurt someone, it’s time to let go. Literally tell yourself, “Self, I forgive you for _____, and I won’t let it hold me back anymore,” if you need to, every time it comes back up.
15. Smile more.
It’s really simple – people who smile seem more confident, approachable, and attractive than those who don’t. Doing things you love, spending time with people you love, and practicing self-care will hopefully make smiling natural!
